你始终还是离开了。。。。

今天是阿杰出殡的日子。。。很遗憾我不能去陪他走完最后的路。。。

星期六晚上，我，natasha,devy,ment,yin wei,yew ling 拼了命终于折完了1000只纸鹤。。。还有ahlon,sterling,ah shuai,eric他们帮忙折不然我们真的赶不完。。。。就是想给你看哦。。。。明明那时去看你的时候，你都还好好的。。。。为什么在我们离开不久，你却静静的离开人世呢？

杰，你真的让我已引以为傲，你始终都没放弃过自己。。。。再抢救三次，你都度过难关，从鬼门关踏出来。。。这已经足够了，你真的很棒！！！爸爸真的很骄傲！！！

当我知道你每次在我失恋的时候，都会想要打那个伤害我的人，还没跟你说我真的很感动时，你却走了。。。。真的很舍不得。。。。

小学到中学的回忆都有你，你走了。。。。心好像缺了一角。。。。。

ment说那些纸鹤都摆在你的身边。。。愿有它们的陪伴你在去天堂的路上并不寂寞。。。要成为大家的天使哦。。。。守护大家。。。。

今天老天爷也为你哭泣哦，一个二十岁的年轻人还没体会人生就这样走了。。。约定好，来世再当我的好朋友。。。。。

4th day....

I felt so useless.........fuck the pantangs!!!!!!!i couldnt go to hospital tat often..........i only get to know kiat's news from jackson,ment,yew ling,natasha and devy.........this is the fourth day tat kiat has been unconscious,devy,nat,yin wei and i plan to fold 1000 paper cranes for him as we heard there's a legend that 1000 paper cranes means longevity........i really hope he can go thru this......

my heart could not stop worrying for him.....devy and i felt uncomfortable since this afternoon,then during the evening i received a message from ment said kiat's blood pressure went down to 20 like the day i saw his heart stopped beating.....my heart suddenly aches......pounding so hard that i barely could breathe.......then i messaged gene whether she's in church......asking for her help from the church members to pray for kiat.........

i called yew ling.........yew ling told me kiat's blood pressure rise back to normal...........THANKS　LORD!!!!keep updating with him about kiat's news.....

nat,devy and yin wei all were sick........i asked them to take k,and get some rest......i cant see another friend get sick again........it really worries me.........

while folding all those paper cranes.....flashbacks of the memories from primary school to secondary school.....all connected with kiat.........i sobbed.......wiped away all those tears....i know kiat would not want to see me cry like tat,i dreamt of him........once.....he just standing there smiling at me.......and i'm pointing and scolding him non-stop..........

So regret that i didnt cherish him while he's healthy and by my side.....

i just could not accept the truth,i just talk thru the phone with him a week ago.....and he's now unable to talk to me.........
when i called him in the male wad.......i saw tears from his eyes........he can hear me....i know he's suffering......a lot more than wad we can imagine........so i will cry no more........

kiat,we haven finsih the competition o,so dun give up so easily!!!!

杰。。。。请你快快醒来

sleepless nite,i cannot fall asleep...........once i close my eyes,the image of kiat lying on the bed unconsciously keeps showing up......i'm scared and worried......dun even dare to cry in front of his family.....

TAN SAY KIAT!!!!! u better wake up now!or i will pinch ur face tomorrow!!!!!i miss the times u called me pui!i know you're always there for me and now,it's my turn to be there for u!

*PRAY*

i move on...

After the judgement day,My lecturer gave us a motivation talk....erm quite a short one.....but it really keeps me thinking.......and i really dont feel that down anymore

Failing to plan is planning to fail.....however,failing is just a phrase in ur life.......wad matters is YOU STILL MOVE ON....

Lack of confidence causing lack of motivation........i really do not hate accounting,quite enjoying it........but haissss........ACCA can u be a lot more easier..........it's kinda depressing when u keep scoring low marks for ur test..........damn it.........getting stupid and noob........IQ dropping.......i guess

I hate financial reporting,who fucking cares about IAS!!!!!making accountant's life miserable nia!!!!!!

失望

it's judgement day!yeah,hopefully i passed both papers especially law paper,however i'm not happy for the marks which i think i could do much better than this.....no motivation,how to find motivation????

Daddy owes been supportive .............one day i'll make u proud......that's wad i promise him .....
dun want to let daddy down..............

After the result has released,i'm relieved but felt remorse.........full of guilt.........i didnt try my best..........afterall......i must be responsible for wad i've done........

so fed up with the IAS thingy!!!!!!!siapa boleh ajar saya?????????sob............the papers are getting tougher ....when u tend to put ur heart in learning....but u understand nothing,it's so depressing..................

UNDER PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

我真的累了

最近的我，很不爱惜自己。。。。

I'm tired,had enough.....physically and emotionally.....身体再抗议，姨妈都迟来报到。。。我还是抵不过mocha chips milk shake的诱惑，自找痛苦。。。。。

今天庆祝了尹薇的生日。。。。看到她高兴就好了，期盼她能走出情伤，早点遇到下个恋情。

早上跟老妈子吵架，心情超差，掩饰，不想影响到其他人。。。毕竟今天还是得帮尹薇庆生。。。

习惯把悲伤留给我自己。。。。望着电话，找不到人好诉苦。。。郁闷到要死。。。。

好希望有个人能对我说，肩膀，耳朵都借你。。。。。一个人累到一个极限。。。还是想要一个依靠。。。。

突然有个念头，很想要休学。。。每天忙着在店帮忙，累到在上课都打瞌睡，都没人体谅，终觉得我的考试会考不好，就不想读了。。。。在这里我无法专心读书。。。。这就是我想离开的原因。。。。我也不想呆在有你的地方。。。。am i pushing myself too much????i scared the outcome is not wad i am expecting.....

我是否患上轻微的忧郁症？？。。。很有压力的时候，我就会一个人流眼泪，甚至会感到窒息。。。晚上一直睡不好，甚至哭着睡醒，这正常吗？？？

我想给自己一断空白的时间。。。。整理情绪。。。。。重新出发。。。。或许这只是我给自己逃避的借口吧。。。。。how i wish there's a shelter for me,only me......

我想我真的累了。。。。。

那个女人....唱到心坎里

我被这首“秘密花园”的插曲深深的吸引了，非常着迷。。。。一开笔电就会play这首歌...

白智英的声音真不是盖的！！！！太赞了！！！！！简直唱出每个女人的心事，唱到心坎里！！！！看歌词的时候，我有点鼻酸。。。。不要说我做作，你去读一下就能了lor....

한 여자가 그대를 사랑합니다/有个女人正爱着你
그 여자는 열심히 사랑합니다/那个女人认真的爱着你
매일 그림자처럼 그대를 따라다니며/每天每天 就像是你的影子 跟随着你
그 여자는 웃으며 울고있어요/那个女人 笑着 却也哭着

얼마나 얼마나 더 너를 이렇게 바라만 보며 혼자/究竟还得独自注视着你多久
이 바람같은 사랑 이 거지같은 사랑 계속해야 니가 나를 사랑 하겠니/这像风一般的爱情 这像是谎言的爱情 还得持续多久 你才能爱我

조금만 가까이 와 조금만 한발 다가가면 두 발 도망가는/只要稍稍走近你 只要靠近你一步 就会后退两步的你
널 사랑하는 난 지금도 옆에 있어 그 여잔 웁니다/这样的爱着你的我 现在就在你的身旁 那个女人哭泣着

그 여자는 성격이 소심합니다/那个女人非常的小心
그래서 웃는 법을 배웠답니다/所以现在正在学习笑着的方法
친한 친구에게도 못하는 얘기가 많은/连和好朋友都不能倾诉的话与太多了
그 여자의 마음은 눈물투성이/所以那个女人的心总是在哭泣

그래서 그 여자는 그댈 널 사랑 했데요 똑같아서/所以 那个女人正爱着你
또 하나같은 바보 또 하나같은 바보 한번 나를 안아주고 가면 안되요/这样的傻瓜 因为是这样的傻瓜 所以可以拥抱我吗

난 사랑받고 싶어 그대여 매일 속으로만 가슴 속으로만/我也想要被爱 亲爱的 每天每天在心里 只能在心里
소리를 지르며 그 여자는 오늘도 그 옆에 있데요/这样的呼唤着你 那个女人 今天依然在你的身旁

그 여자가 나라는 걸 아나요 알면서도 이러는 건 아니죠/那个女人就是我 你知道吗 还是你明明知道却依然如此呢
모를꺼야 그댄 바보니까/不知道的你 真的是个大傻瓜啊

얼마나 얼마나 더 너를 이렇게 바라만 보며 혼자/究竟还得独自注视着你多久
이 바보같은 사랑 이 거지같은 사랑 계속해야 니가 나를 사랑 하겠니/这像傻瓜一般的爱情 这像是谎言的爱情 还得持续多久 你才能爱我

조금만 가까이 와 조금만 한발 다가가면 두 발 도망가는/只要稍稍走近你 只要靠近你一步 就会后退两步的你
널 사랑하는 난 지금도 옆에 있어 그 여잔 웁니다/这样的爱着你的我 现在就在你的身旁 那个女人哭泣着

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoGgqI1o-cE